Paradise

How goes it folks! I just spent the first three days of this week at the Reel Recovery trip in Paradise, UT. All I can say was that it was an absolute blast and I have so much to say its hard from getting all the words jumbled up. So I will just start at the beginning I guess. I left Monday afternoon. Turned my phone off cause I had no intention of answering it on the trip. I had no intention of listening to automated messages about infusion appointments, mail order pharmacy check ups, and bills from other hospitals. I am not gonna lie I wanted to get away from it all. So here I am driving a long and I go by a cop. Well let’s just say we had a nice conversation and I was on my way. Needless to say I was a little later than I expected. The night started out with all of us introducing ourselves and talking about our first cars. How awesome. Then we got into the serious stuff. We talked about our cancers. There was wide range of different diagnosis’, guys who were just starting treatment, folks near the end, and others who have lived with cancer for 30 years. Even though we had this connection we were strangers. There was a few people who I knew vicariously. One who shared the same doctor as me, another who I have seen at the clinic, and yet another who’s son was department head for the company I work for. What a small world. We had beautiful dinner of breaded trout and it was absolutely heavenly. Then we headed to the cabins for nights rest to start early at 7am.

            The next morning started off with breakfast of biscuits and gravy, eggs, and sausage. We talked about the plan of the day. We would go fishing come back for lunch and take a break during the heat of day and go out in the evening. That morning I went out with a 25 year old guy to a pond and learned how to cast on a fly rod.  There wee were fishing and talking about typical things like girls, college, parties, and so forth. And we were fishing. I love fishing and before my diagnosis I would go about 4 times a week. My goal this year was start fly fishing. So this was my first fishing trip this year and I learned how to fly fish. Needless to say we ended up only catching on rainbow trout that morning. We had lunch and most of the rest of the guys opted to go in for a cancer nap. I on the other hand wanted to go fishing and the medical officer on the trip went out with me. We headed to this spot and I landed about 7 fish. I also go my very first tiger trout right after mentioning I had never caught one. That evening I headed out with another volunteer and caught another three. The next morning I landed another three. All I can say was my shoulder was a little sore and it felt great. I had delicious ribeye steak the last night for dinner and the last breakfast was sweet potato pancakes and buttermilk syrup. All my photos have me smiling ear to ear with a huge toothy grin. I had a blast!

            One of main concerns through this whole cancer epic has been whether I could ever really feel fully carefree and happy without worrying about cancer. I learned on Tuesday I could for a day and half I fished laughed and smiled like was a child and driving home Wednesday afternoon I shed tears of joy because I thought I would never have that feeling again. It was a beautiful experience. The other guys I met on the retreat were great we shared stories of what we feared, what gave us hope, the pain, and how we will carry on. I can honestly say that I left with a family of brothers. The great thing about Reel Recovery is that they share the contact information for everyone involved with the retreat you attended so everyone can maintain contact, meet up, and maybe go fishing. That includes the volunteers. I can honestly say that it was one the happiest times of my life. It was fitting that it was in Paradise, UT because the retreat was truly Paradise and was at no cost to the participants thanks to the dedication of the volunteers and contributions from wonderful people and organizations. But I had to leave Paradise and continue my cancer epic.

            As I write this I am sitting  in infusion getting chemotherapy. Hopefully this will be the last infusion for a while anyways. My red blood cell counts have been as high as they ever have been. My whites and platelets are doing great as well. In two weeks I have a CT scan and that will determine my future. My doctor and I were talking about prognosis information and he told me as far as symptoms go I have responded better than most patients. I learned of a new FDA drug that was just approved for treating gastric cancers. We are looking at that. That CT scan will tell though. I start working again next week and I am both excited and nervous for it.
            Even though this was my last infusion I really did not want to come because I really dislike chemo. I hate feeling terrible. I usually recover pretty quick (most likely cause of my age) but I think it makes worse. Feeling like total sh*t then feeling great then like sh*t again. I was lucky my friend drove me here today. In about an hour that girl I mentioned last time will come and pick me up. Maybe we will go for coffee. I just can’t believe it is over finally. 

Be Well and Fish On!

-Just a dumb kid

 

Look at that huge smile and that beautiful Rainbow Trout!

One of the ponds in Paradise, full of hungry trout by the way.